Student Humor Connoisseur Gifts

'You heard! There's no way I'm cooking for you!'

'Hmph. College kids.'

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

'So what are you studying, young man?'

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

'How do you like that? We just get through the alphabet and she starts hauling in the heavy artillery!'

'I see you have extensive experience eating, sleeping, and mating. That puts you two steps ahead of all the college graduates who have applied.'

It makes no sense. The number of books that can be stored on a small device is constantly increasing, yet school kids seem to be lugging around bigger backpacks every year!

Dear folks. Well, you were right; being the prettiest gator of the Everglades hasn't helped me one bit.'

"What did you study in school today, Gracie?"

"I wanted to deliver a message of hope and tolerance in a complex global society but I decided to update them on the Kardashians instead."

"Professor Van Winkle, the university has instituted Reevaluation of Tenure, time to wake up."

College of Liberal (not in the political snese) arts.

"If it really is a smartphone, why are my grades still lousy?"

'Virgil is on the gymnastics team.'

Southwick College: Basically, for the most part, usually - a meritocracy.

"Graduates, faculty, parents, creditors..."

'Wow, that sounds rigorous. What are the prerequisites for living in my mom's basement?'

'You're lucky! Your teacher never gives you any homework.'

Little known fact: I spent a semester at Reed College in Portland. "Little known facts" are supposed to be momentous. Well, the little known fact is, while I was there, I asked a lady out

'I was on my way to school, and some drug-crazed hippies took my homework.'

'When I was your age, an 'A' did not stand for 'adequate'.'

"I've got news for you. Kids don't have a union and doing your homework is not negotiable."

Young man standing with hands in pockets because it is the fashion at his college

"I'd like to propose a bill to the effect that we can remain freshmen indefinitely."

Breakfast at Universities

"Romeo & Juliet were totally hooking up! ...but then things got weird."

Undergraduate and don

'Yes, your son does ask questions in class but they're always 'Can I have the hall pass?'.'