Student Humorist Gifts

'How come the History Channel is so interesting and my history class is so boring?'

'Any chance I can charge this to my student loan?'

History 101: 'This class should be easy! I've heard that history continuously repeats itself!'

"Can you believe it? I'm just 4 credits short of a 'Useless Major While Accruing Massive Student Loan Debt' degree."

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

'So what are you studying, young man?'

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'My teacher is a man of letters...except A and B.'

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

'Will Mr. 'No Comment' please remain after class.'

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'