Campus Comedic Moments Gifts

The assistant to the chair begins another busy day.

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

Don't you hate...

Scientists continue their research on the Hippocampus.

'I see you have extensive experience eating, sleeping, and mating. That puts you two steps ahead of all the college graduates who have applied.'

College of Liberal (not in the political snese) arts.

"I think our daughter should change her major. She can now ask for money in 3 different languages!"

'I suspected hackers when it accepted all the student scholarship applications.'

"Mom, Dad, college changed me."

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

'My parents couldn't afford to send me to college, so they let me spend a night at a Ramada.'

'Dude, you gotta lay off the Mac n' Cheese!'

'You're lucky! Your teacher never gives you any homework.'

'So, in college what did you major in' - 'Business poetry.'

'Oh, now that's a nice vase...'

Undergraduate and don

'9K a year!? It's an outrage! At my level of attendance that's 3K per lecture!'

That's Roderick Sloan, the Alvin Meriwether professor of business administration, and with him is Alvin Meriwether, the Roderick Sloan professor of economics.

'Nots so hot on my SATS, but I aced my STDS.'

"Don’t you just love professor Dahl’s lectures on Tibetan rawhide?"

Big man on Krampus

Little known fact: I spent a semester at Reed College in Portland. "Little known facts" are supposed to be momentous. Well, the little known fact is, while I was there, I asked a lady out

"I'd like to propose a bill to the effect that we can remain freshmen indefinitely."

"I have to read this disclaimer: Any opinions expressed in this course belong to the professor and do not necessarily mean the university is left-wing."

"I can't wait to get home and insult my parents from a position of authority."

"I was just transferred to the fraternity word."

We have too many students! I know. Send them home!

'I got a darn D-plus, and that's WITH cheating!'