Jokester On Campus Pillows

"My professor didn't expect me to graduate."

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'I have much less stress since I replaced my in box with a paper shredder.'

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

Don't you hate...

'Hard or soft science?'

Scientists continue their research on the Hippocampus.

"You never giggle and read cartoon captions to me anymore."

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

College of Liberal (not in the political snese) arts.

"Okay...just this once...but no more practice swings!"

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

'I suspected hackers when it accepted all the student scholarship applications.'

"Mom, Dad, college changed me."

"About these experiements of yours into genetic cloning, Bond" boomed the Headmaster, "They must cease immediately"

'So, in college what did you major in' - 'Business poetry.'

'Oh, now that's a nice vase...'

That's Roderick Sloan, the Alvin Meriwether professor of business administration, and with him is Alvin Meriwether, the Roderick Sloan professor of economics.

"I thought SAT was 'Smart Alec Teacher'!"

"Don’t you just love professor Dahl’s lectures on Tibetan rawhide?"

"'Ere -what's YOUR problem...?"

Big man on Krampus

'Nots so hot on my SATS, but I aced my STDS.'

Undergraduate and don