Campus Jokester Pillows

'Oh, now that's a nice vase...'

Big man on Krampus

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

'Sorry mum, I had a brain freeze during the test...'

'A boy at school was named after his father. They've called him Dad.'

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

Don't you hate...

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

Scientists continue their research on the Hippocampus.

'Hard or soft science?'

'I see you have extensive experience eating, sleeping, and mating. That puts you two steps ahead of all the college graduates who have applied.'

College of Liberal (not in the political snese) arts.

Southwick College: Basically, for the most part, usually - a meritocracy.

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

"Mom, Dad, college changed me."

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

'I suspected hackers when it accepted all the student scholarship applications.'

'It's a guess. I never said it was an educated guess.'

'Wow, that sounds rigorous. What are the prerequisites for living in my mom's basement?'

'So, in college what did you major in' - 'Business poetry.'

"About these experiements of yours into genetic cloning, Bond" boomed the Headmaster, "They must cease immediately"