Academic Jokesters Pillows

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

'...And here we have the 'Laugher Curve.''

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

"If I can't use a calculator, may I use my Dad's old slide-rule?"

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

'In conclusion, I hope you all go out there, get well-paying jobs, and give lots of tax-deductible gifts to our alumni fund.'

'Hard or soft science?'

Death comes to both the Archbishop and the Salesman in Venice

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

"Well, if the test is multiple choice I choose not to take it."

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

"It's the formula for a black hole."

Laboratory: Protons /Electrons/Morons

"For the hundredth time—I have no idea how to make crystal meth."

'Today: The collective unconscious...'

'Oh, now that's a nice vase...'

Undergraduate and don

Broad Minded

Big man on Krampus

"I thought SAT was 'Smart Alec Teacher'!"

"In an effort to avoid controversy, and to accommodate our attention spans, we will be replacing the commencement speaker with fortune cookies."

'But your book proved that gravity is a very weak force.'

"Where am I going to find the perfect thesis topic that hasn't been on TikTok already?"

How do bright women get pregnant?

Relativity explained; the woman on the train will always appear more attractive than the woman on the platform.

Professor Clown teaches advanced physics

Homework eating dogs

"It says to sign, and then print my name... can I use the school printer?"