Academic Jokesters Pillows

"This'll show the Theology Department."

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

'...And here we have the 'Laugher Curve.''

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

"If I can't use a calculator, may I use my Dad's old slide-rule?"

'In conclusion, I hope you all go out there, get well-paying jobs, and give lots of tax-deductible gifts to our alumni fund.'

'Hard or soft science?'

Death comes to both the Archbishop and the Salesman in Venice

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

"Well, if the test is multiple choice I choose not to take it."

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

History. The worst past is my dad says they're still making history!

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

'My parents couldn't afford to send me to college, so they let me spend a night at a Ramada.'

"It's the formula for a black hole."

Laboratory: Protons /Electrons/Morons

"For the hundredth time—I have no idea how to make crystal meth."

Hey boss, that generic soap you gave me isn't really cleaning the cups. Mind if I go get some brand name stuff? Are you insane? There's zero difference between generic and brand name products. Corporate America just cons people into thinking "you get what you pay for." Don't be a stooge, Rudy. Don't fall for it. Now get in there and scrub those cups, minion! Strike a blow for the little guy against corporate lies! Wait ... I'm very confused. Are you a right-winger or a left-winger? You mean in w

'Today: The collective unconscious...'

'Oh, now that's a nice vase...'

How about you? Have you picked a major?

Broad Minded

"I thought SAT was 'Smart Alec Teacher'!"

Big man on Krampus

Undergraduate and don

"In an effort to avoid controversy, and to accommodate our attention spans, we will be replacing the commencement speaker with fortune cookies."

'But your book proved that gravity is a very weak force.'

Relativity explained; the woman on the train will always appear more attractive than the woman on the platform.

How do bright women get pregnant?

Professor Clown teaches advanced physics

"Where am I going to find the perfect thesis topic that hasn't been on TikTok already?"

Homework eating dogs

'When I asked for funding of my rooster egg laying research, I was told the chick is in the male.'