School Jokester Gifts

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

'Okay, so I failed all the tests and never handed in an assignment. So What's your point?'

'The Principal suspended me-- School is the only place in the world where you can get time off for bad behavior.'

Student writing on blackboard - I will not egg the principal's car.

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

"What would it take to get you to do a little work, Charles?" "Fifty bucks."

"Since I'm here so often, and you're redecorating, my favorite color is blue."

'What? It's not my fault you're banned from class and it's definitely not my fault that Mrs. Banks is celebrating it.'

'I thought you should know, I'm thinking of making a bid for class clown.'

'Remember, he's ambidextrous. He can be both heavy handed and slight-of-hand.'

'I had to stay in after school - they got me for first degree whispering.'

"Before the bell rang our teacher gave us homework...to go!"

'Sorry mum, I had a brain freeze during the test...'

'School was great today, Mom -- Jennifer Pomeroy's perfume set off the smoke alarm!'

'What's our exit strategy?'

'A boy at school was named after his father. They've called him Dad.'

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

CHAUCER 411, 'Boy -- that guy spells worse than I do!'