School Joke Master Gifts

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"Hello, Pine Grove Elementary? Could you tell Miss Pritchard to come to Lakeview Veterinarian Clinic right away?"

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'I didn't tell you to 'be quite Frank'. I said,'be quiet, Frank'!'

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."