Classroom Jokester Gifts

'It's a guess. I never said it was an educated guess.'

'Correct - I think!'

'For throwing spitballs in class, I am sending you to the principal's office. It's nothing personal. It's just a classroom management thing.'

'May I be excused? The pressure is getting to me.'

Scientific Reasoning

"Before you take my phone away, can I tweet that you're taking my phone away?"

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"I'm deleting history so there will be nothing to study for tomorrow's history test."

"Think inside the box, Roger."

"This year, I'm starting school with a positive attitude! You have my word...I'm waiting till the second week of school to call it the worst year of my life."

"The battle Nelson was killed in? His last one!"

"Don't be fooled. He isn't a prince and he isn't you pal!"

"I don't need to learn all that stuff any more, Miss Myers -- I got a CALCULATOR for my birthday!"

'You got everyfink Bruv? Stink bombs, pea shooter, dead frogs . . .'

'You're FLUNKING me? - Doesn't SENIORITY count for anything around here?'

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

'Being a pencil sharpener monitor does not mean that you have an environmentally dangerous job.'

"Your behaviour is getting worse - you don't want to end up as education spokesman, do you?"

'Instead of giving you an apple, I thought a Droid might not be recalled.'

'I'm giving whoever gnawed my desk in half three minutes to confess!'

'Maybe this is a question that should be left to the philosophers.'

'You guys have been bugging me for weeks for a mark update. Well, here he is, and he's fine!'

"I meant are there any questions about the math problem, James...you'll have to ask your parents about where babies come from!"

A Puppet Named Juan

Ethics exam cheater.

I should be a writer when I grow up...

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

'So what are you studying, young man?'