Classroom Humorist Gifts

'It's not an accounting breakthrough, Sam. It's wrong.'

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

'I think your test grading is biased in favor of students who answer the test questions correctly.'

'The basic laws of supply and demand can be affected by the input of this variable.'

"My teacher says to tell you I'm having trouble with my ears. Everything goes in one and out the other."

Teacher at a blank blackboard.

'Will Mr. 'No Comment' please remain after class.'

"Instead of taking notes, can I just purchase a transcript of today's lesson?"

'I thanked my teacher for teaching me so well, and she fainted.'

"I'm not daydreaming, Ms Howard. I'm reviewing my intellectual properties."

'I don't need to learn how to subtract. I'm going to work for the government.'

Class Rules

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

'Miss Holt taught us to work well without supervision today. Then she left.'

"For someone who`s supposed to know all the answers, he asks a lot of questions."

"Yes, your report is three pages. But, what concerns me is that your font size is 80."

Kid standing on one leg hands test on water birds to teacher.

'I would appreciate it if you don't call out in class.'

"Are you sure giving us all these homework assignments is data-driven?"

'All A's and an F in penmanship. Have you ever thought about becoming a doctor?'

'Your homework got washed away with your house! A likely story young man! See me after class!'

"My presentation is on the importance of planning ahead."

'Can't you dumb it down more, Ms. Slemrod?'

'I don't care what Daddy wrote to Mummy...it's not polite to ask teacher 'for a s**g'.'

'Government OF, BY and FOR the people....after haggling over a new federal budger, an extension was made for a couple more weeks.'

'My birthday? The 30th January. What year? Every year Sir.'

"I wish you would stop doing that. . . changing the subject."

"Today I'm picking you as leader!"

"We'll now take a minute for silent meditation."

Teacher's pet dog

"Founding fathers ... you mean my dad was there?"

Teacher turns on Applause Sign

"I hope you learned a little this week about respecting differences. So before we get started on this week's pop quiz, can someone tell me how I am different?"

"I think we should keep an eye on Danny. He took an unusual interest in today's lesson on the Fifth Amendment."

"I couldn't bring myself to throw it away. It made such a beautiful landing on my desk."