Classroom Comedy Enthusiast Gifts

"Congratulations, Phillip. You've managed to score somehow lower than chance."

Student wants to be excused...for the semester.

Schoolboy answering a question

"I hope you're not expecting a tip."

"Can't hear it at all, miss."

A Puppet Named Juan

Ethics exam cheater.

I should be a writer when I grow up...

'But I digress...'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

"Baldo, you're a very good artist! You should put your talent to use."

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

'What begins with 'E'? Well, 'Everything'!'

'My science project is an experiment in static electricity.'

'So what are you studying, young man?'

'This test doesn't understand me.'

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

Aerodynamics Lecture room.

"Your rule about no yelling out in class...that's a violation of my 1st Amendment rights!"

" 'How I Spent My Summer Vacation,' a treatment by Todd Mozelle, Grade Three."

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

"How can I be a lead learner without the technology needed to lead?"

Big Bang Theory.