Classroom Comedy Gifts

"It's his first day of school!"

"Let me know if that level of medication is effective. And if we need to, we can give some to the student as well."

'Teachers' Dreams.' 'Young man, either you remove your hand from under her sweater or I will remove it your arm.'

"No, you don't have a fever, so yes you do have to go to school today. . . Remember, you're the teacher!"

"This isn't working. Do you have an ink eraser?"

"Hard summer, Miss Donahue?"

A Puppet Named Juan

Ethics exam cheater.

I should be a writer when I grow up...

'But I digress...'

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

'My science project is an experiment in static electricity.'

'What begins with 'E'? Well, 'Everything'!'

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"Baldo, you're a very good artist! You should put your talent to use."

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

'This test doesn't understand me.'

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

Aerodynamics Lecture room.

"Your rule about no yelling out in class...that's a violation of my 1st Amendment rights!"

" 'How I Spent My Summer Vacation,' a treatment by Todd Mozelle, Grade Three."

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

Big Bang Theory.