Classroom Comedian Gifts

'Okay this test is scheduled for three hours, Fruit fly, you can be excused if you need to die,'

Professor Herman paused when he heard that unmistakable thud - another brain had imploded.

Ethics exam cheater.

'My teacher says I'm an underachiever, but I think she's an overexpecter.'

Smirking or Non-smirking

"Mr. Wickers called me 'gifted' in front of the whole class. I'm ruined."

'This test doesn't understand me.'

'Emily, have you been shopping online during class?'

'No, copyright does not mean you have the right to copy it.'

"Before I read about my summer vacation, I'd like to ask that all pagers, beepers, and cell phones be turned off."

Back to School

'I thought 60 was the new 40?'

'My teacher sent me. She said to tell you I'm just not myself.'

'My teacher said I don't pay enough attention in class. At least, that's what I think she said.'

Boo!

'I am going to close my eyes and cover my ears. I expect the student who took my chair, my desk and my chalkboard to bring them back.'

'I presume you're the substitute teacher?'

Teacher faints: 'The day the entire 6th grade class turned their homework in on time.'

'Before I begin today's lesson, please turn off your cell phones,beepers and ipods.'

'I'm not late. Everyone learns at their own speed.'

Halfway around the learning curve, Bob lets go.

Student in the middle of an exam realises he has accidentally picked up dumb water.

'What would you say if I told you that we weren't cheating, but merely social networking?'

"Why in the world do they call this approach 'cooperative learning'?"

'Just out of curiosity, who do you punish on weekends?'

'I want you to text message 100 times, 'I will not text message in class.''

'Higgins, control yourself and sit down!'

Student to teacher: 'No, not my dog. I do my homework on my computer... and the cat ate the mouse.'

"Before you grade my test, you should know about my Theory of Life's Imprecision."

Student to teacher: 'Speak up, I can hardly hear ya!'

'May I be excused? The pressure is getting to me.'

'How do you explain losing someone, Miss Marsh? It was a virtual field trip.'

'I can't sign that behavior contract unless my attorney reviews it.'

'Emily, have you been shopping online during class?'

'You'll have to let Billy go out and play. You forgot to mirandize him.'