Classroom Comedian Pillows

'Okay this test is scheduled for three hours, Fruit fly, you can be excused if you need to die,'

Professor Herman paused when he heard that unmistakable thud - another brain had imploded.

Ethics exam cheater.

'My teacher says I'm an underachiever, but I think she's an overexpecter.'

Smirking or Non-smirking

"Mr. Wickers called me 'gifted' in front of the whole class. I'm ruined."

'This test doesn't understand me.'

'Emily, have you been shopping online during class?'

'No, copyright does not mean you have the right to copy it.'

"Before I read about my summer vacation, I'd like to ask that all pagers, beepers, and cell phones be turned off."

'I thought 60 was the new 40?'

Back to School

Boo!

'My teacher said I don't pay enough attention in class. At least, that's what I think she said.'

'My teacher sent me. She said to tell you I'm just not myself.'

'I am going to close my eyes and cover my ears. I expect the student who took my chair, my desk and my chalkboard to bring them back.'

'I presume you're the substitute teacher?'

'Before I begin today's lesson, please turn off your cell phones,beepers and ipods.'

Halfway around the learning curve, Bob lets go.

Teacher faints: 'The day the entire 6th grade class turned their homework in on time.'

'I'm not late. Everyone learns at their own speed.'

'Just out of curiosity, who do you punish on weekends?'

'What would you say if I told you that we weren't cheating, but merely social networking?'

"Why in the world do they call this approach 'cooperative learning'?"

Student in the middle of an exam realises he has accidentally picked up dumb water.

'I want you to text message 100 times, 'I will not text message in class.''

'Higgins, control yourself and sit down!'

"Before you grade my test, you should know about my Theory of Life's Imprecision."

Student to teacher: 'Speak up, I can hardly hear ya!'

'May I be excused? The pressure is getting to me.'

Student to teacher: 'No, not my dog. I do my homework on my computer... and the cat ate the mouse.'

'I can't sign that behavior contract unless my attorney reviews it.'

'How do you explain losing someone, Miss Marsh? It was a virtual field trip.'

'Emily, have you been shopping online during class?'

Student to Miss Belcastro, her history teacher: 'We need some newer history.'