Classroom Comedic Gifts

'Psssst! What font are you using?'

School. Report Card. I improved in handwriting, and she found out I can't spell.

A Puppet Named Juan

Ethics exam cheater.

I should be a writer when I grow up...

'But I digress...'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

"Baldo, you're a very good artist! You should put your talent to use."

'My science project is an experiment in static electricity.'

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

'What begins with 'E'? Well, 'Everything'!'

'This test doesn't understand me.'

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"Your rule about no yelling out in class...that's a violation of my 1st Amendment rights!"

Aerodynamics Lecture room.

" 'How I Spent My Summer Vacation,' a treatment by Todd Mozelle, Grade Three."

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

'An essay on what I did last summer? -- I was hoping to let all that stuff blow over.'

"How can I be a lead learner without the technology needed to lead?"

Big Bang Theory.

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.