Classroom Comedies Gifts

'My objective is to have each student become more insightful, compassionate, introspective, and empathetic. In your case, I will settle for quiet.'

A Puppet Named Juan

Ethics exam cheater.

I should be a writer when I grow up...

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"Baldo, you're a very good artist! You should put your talent to use."

'What begins with 'E'? Well, 'Everything'!'

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

'My science project is an experiment in static electricity.'

'This test doesn't understand me.'

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"Your rule about no yelling out in class...that's a violation of my 1st Amendment rights!"

Aerodynamics Lecture room.

" 'How I Spent My Summer Vacation,' a treatment by Todd Mozelle, Grade Three."

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

'An essay on what I did last summer? -- I was hoping to let all that stuff blow over.'

"How can I be a lead learner without the technology needed to lead?"

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'