School Comedian Gifts

Sign in Principals Office: Please Wait To Be Yelled At. Thank You.

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

Two pages on what I did during summer vacation? - but I didn't take notes!

School. That vocabulary quiz was hard! Did you know how to use "gruesome" in a sentence? It was simple. "The gardener likes flowers so he gruesome."

'That's their hideout.'

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

The first day of school is always filled with crazy emotions. Joy and trauma. Triumph and failure. Frustration and disappointment. And that's just dealing with my cruddy new locker.

"Take your pet to school day."

A Puppet Named Juan

Ethics exam cheater.

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

'But I digress...'

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

"Baldo, you're a very good artist! You should put your talent to use."

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

'What begins with 'E'? Well, 'Everything'!'

'My science project is an experiment in static electricity.'

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

'This test doesn't understand me.'

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

Aerodynamics Lecture room.

"Your rule about no yelling out in class...that's a violation of my 1st Amendment rights!"

" 'How I Spent My Summer Vacation,' a treatment by Todd Mozelle, Grade Three."