School Comedy Lover Gifts

'Before we do the register...can any of you teach English?

"They can't eliminate gymnastics! With our school's overcrowding, we need it!"

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

"Tell me, Frankie, what time is it?"

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

'Before you give us your surprise test, could we have a surprise study period?'

"Hi, Mom - We learned in school today that ethics and morality are stupid and old-fashioned."

'The dog won't eat my homework.'

'How do you like that? We just get through the alphabet and she starts hauling in the heavy artillery!'

'The first person to learn anything leaves immediately!'

'Sorry, Jimmy... our school has a strict 'don't show, don't tell' policy!'

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

It makes no sense. The number of books that can be stored on a small device is constantly increasing, yet school kids seem to be lugging around bigger backpacks every year!

"I'm subcontracting math, spelling and geography to my smart phone."

Billy strip: help with homework.

"I turned five. That's why I'm here. What are you in for?"

"Exactly how long were you home schooled?"

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

'Virgil is on the gymnastics team.'

'That's what you get for skipping geometry class.'

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

'I was a substitute teacher. Former students still approach me to thank me for everything I let them get away with.'

"You were sent to the principal again for horsing around? That's so unfair!"

"If it really is a smartphone, why are my grades still lousy?"

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'