School Sitcom Lover Gifts

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

"Tell me, Frankie, what time is it?"

'Before you give us your surprise test, could we have a surprise study period?'

Child writes letter to Santa reading 'Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school'.

"Hi, Mom - We learned in school today that ethics and morality are stupid and old-fashioned."

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

'The first person to learn anything leaves immediately!'

'Sorry, Jimmy... our school has a strict 'don't show, don't tell' policy!'

"The legal people are terrified of litigation but I insisted that we write an apology to the client of the lack of service. . . as long as we don't sent it!"

'That's what you get for skipping geometry class.'

'I was a substitute teacher. Former students still approach me to thank me for everything I let them get away with.'

'Is it okay if I'm represented by counsel on open-school night?'

"Sorry... My School Aversion Syndrome is totally bad today."

After traveling across the universe for thousands of years, an episode of "Leave It To Beaver" is received by an inhabitant of a distant galaxy.

"Tia Carmen, can you make Sylvia Sanchez, the prettiest girl in school, look me in the eye and ask about my feelings."

"C-Span is our reality television."

"Last night we watched three movies back to back. I was the one facing the telly."

"Next, I will make the excitement and enthusiasm of the start of the school year disappear."

Bunny TV.

'Don't I even get to enter a plea?'

"Is it wrong to be evasive and not answer questions?"

'It's not my fault! All day long it's English, Math, Science, History and not a single minute dedicated to cheating.'

'I love your playing....especially when you stop!'

"If your certificate is removed, are you unable to teach?"

Student goes through home room sees his home.

'If the school can send in substitute teachers, how come we can't send in substitute students?'

'She wishes.'

"You like woodwork class then, son?"

"Somebody found a finger in a salad?!"