Schoolyard Drama Lover Gifts

"Are you the young man that bit my daughter?"

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

"Recess does things to a man."

'Second grade. When did you discover 'LMNOP' wasn't one letter?'

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

“Hands, Rachel. Clap your hands. Why on earth would I say, ‘If you’re happy and you know it, slap Sam’?”

I miss recess!

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

'Billy takes his jungle gym seriously!'

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

"Hi Ginny, that's a nice new haircut you've got there. Are you trying to be cuter than me?"

"Tia Carmen, can you make Sylvia Sanchez, the prettiest girl in school, look me in the eye and ask about my feelings."

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'

'I would appreciate it if you don't call out in class.'

"Can you believe it? Smiley kissed me! I was totally not expecting it. She's probably gonna blabber it to the whole school! If I'm lucky."

Teacher to parents: 'Ah - you're right. What do I know about kids? My biological clock went coo-coo years ago.'

"They can't eliminate gymnastics! With our school's overcrowding, we need it!"

'These are the happiest days of your life.'

'Billy, I'm not going to argue the semantics of biting. Whether or not you penetrated skin, I'm calling your mother.'

"I think Wendy likes me... she chose me first for her cooperative learning group!"

"So what's the deal? Why did Cruz call me your girlfriend?"

"If Wikileaks released my email about Kevin, I'll just die!"

'Not everyone has a grandmother who'd help them throw a party, Andy!'

'I don't have a dog, so have to eat homework myself.'

'Tonight there's a small, select meeting of the P.T.A - just you, me and the Head!'

"Oi you two! What going on in here?"

'I'd like to run for class president but I'm afraid of the background check. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre school.'

'Pillow fight!'

'My client refuses to answer that Maths question on the grounds it might tend to incriminate him!'

'I didn't want to peak too soon.'