Schoolyard Charmer Gifts

"Recess does things to a man."

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

The Charge of the Kids

“Hands, Rachel. Clap your hands. Why on earth would I say, ‘If you’re happy and you know it, slap Sam’?”

"The first week of school is just review. You know. Scenes from last year's episode."

I miss recess!

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

'Billy takes his jungle gym seriously!'

'There is a kid at school who can play 'Jingle Bells' with his farts. That is impressive because flatulence is a difficult medium.'

'It's Johnny Taylor's snowsuit, but I don't think he's in there.'

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

"Hi Ginny, that's a nice new haircut you've got there. Are you trying to be cuter than me?"

'Quick! Get me the dispute resolution mediator!'

Shadow

'No, he's right. Cows have three udders. One for skim milk, one for two percent and the third one's for lactose free.'

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'

'I would appreciate it if you don't call out in class.'

"What a day. I played tag, a yucky girl kissed me, and I got the school's computers back online."

"Can you believe it? Smiley kissed me! I was totally not expecting it. She's probably gonna blabber it to the whole school! If I'm lucky."

'These are the happiest days of your life.'

Upon returning to school, none of the boys could help but notice how much Allison had developed over summer vacation.

"I think Wendy likes me... she chose me first for her cooperative learning group!"

'I don't have a dog, so have to eat homework myself.'

'I didn't want to peak too soon.'

'Pillow fight!'

"Who would've thought Ms. Eliot had so little sense of humor?"

"Let's see. ... We'll take Death."

'The exams were under water, below c!'

"My day in school? Oh, it was special. I got a lot of attention and advice from the principal herself."

A good school report at last...how much did it cost you?

"I won't be donating my tech billions to this school."