Schoolyard Charmer Gifts

"Recess does things to a man."

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

The Charge of the Kids

"The first week of school is just review. You know. Scenes from last year's episode."

“Hands, Rachel. Clap your hands. Why on earth would I say, ‘If you’re happy and you know it, slap Sam’?”

I miss recess!

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

'Billy takes his jungle gym seriously!'

'There is a kid at school who can play 'Jingle Bells' with his farts. That is impressive because flatulence is a difficult medium.'

'It's Johnny Taylor's snowsuit, but I don't think he's in there.'

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

Littletown High School. And that's where Bubba Parker stomped me

"Hi Ginny, that's a nice new haircut you've got there. Are you trying to be cuter than me?"

'Quick! Get me the dispute resolution mediator!'

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'

'No, he's right. Cows have three udders. One for skim milk, one for two percent and the third one's for lactose free.'

Shadow

Wow, you're right! Your mom's regurgitated worms are way better than my mom's!

'I would appreciate it if you don't call out in class.'

"Can you believe it? Smiley kissed me! I was totally not expecting it. She's probably gonna blabber it to the whole school! If I'm lucky."

"What a day. I played tag, a yucky girl kissed me, and I got the school's computers back online."

'These are the happiest days of your life.'

Upon returning to school, none of the boys could help but notice how much Allison had developed over summer vacation.

I know you are, but what am I? Huh? Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you. I'm ready for the return of school. My mom says you're just jealous.

"I think Wendy likes me... she chose me first for her cooperative learning group!"

'I don't have a dog, so have to eat homework myself.'

'Pillow fight!'

'I didn't want to peak too soon.'

"Yes, the underpants sighting is very interesting, but I'm really more intrigued by your observations of London and France."

'The exams were under water, below c!'

A good school report at last...how much did it cost you?

"Let's see. ... We'll take Death."

"Who would've thought Ms. Eliot had so little sense of humor?"