Schoolyard Hero Gifts

'Billy takes his jungle gym seriously!'

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

"Recess does things to a man."

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

"Being the smartest girl in third grade is going to Melinda's head."

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

“Hands, Rachel. Clap your hands. Why on earth would I say, ‘If you’re happy and you know it, slap Sam’?”

"The first week of school is just review. You know. Scenes from last year's episode."

I miss recess!

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

'There is a kid at school who can play 'Jingle Bells' with his farts. That is impressive because flatulence is a difficult medium.'

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

"Hi Ginny, that's a nice new haircut you've got there. Are you trying to be cuter than me?"

"You, my tenacious weed, are trespassing!"

"I said 'I quit'. Nobody listens to me any more."

'Quick! Get me the dispute resolution mediator!'

"Just teachers' lounge will suffice, Ed."

'Come out of that cupboard. If you can't stand up to the class bully, who will? After all, you are the Headmaster...?'

"I noticed he had punched air holes in his desk. Now I'm afraid to open it."

"Can you believe it? Smiley kissed me! I was totally not expecting it. She's probably gonna blabber it to the whole school! If I'm lucky."

"The custodian's job is 10 percent janitorial and 90 percent as my bodyguard."

'These are the happiest days of your life.'

"What a day. I played tag, a yucky girl kissed me, and I got the school's computers back online."

'I don't have a dog, so have to eat homework myself.'

'I got lost in between all the classroom trailers at school again.'

"My day in school? Oh, it was special. I got a lot of attention and advice from the principal herself."

'I love, love, love your mother's sense of humor.'

"Who would've thought Ms. Eliot had so little sense of humor?"

'That Jimmy is sickening!'

'I just wish she wouldn't walk us to school.'

'Don't worry about next year, Kathy. All teachers agree on the multiplication tables.'