Schoolyard Heroes Gifts

Boys in bandages.

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

"Recess does things to a man."

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

"Being the smartest girl in third grade is going to Melinda's head."

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

"So kids, you got work from your teachers right?"

“Hands, Rachel. Clap your hands. Why on earth would I say, ‘If you’re happy and you know it, slap Sam’?”

The Charge of the Kids

"The first week of school is just review. You know. Scenes from last year's episode."

I miss recess!

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

'It's Johnny Taylor's snowsuit, but I don't think he's in there.'

'Billy takes his jungle gym seriously!'

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

"You, my tenacious weed, are trespassing!"

"Hi Ginny, that's a nice new haircut you've got there. Are you trying to be cuter than me?"

"I said 'I quit'. Nobody listens to me any more."

'I don't mind school, but I'm really tired of the commute.'

Littletown High School. And that's where Bubba Parker stomped me

"Just teachers' lounge will suffice, Ed."

'Come out of that cupboard. If you can't stand up to the class bully, who will? After all, you are the Headmaster...?'

Shadow

Wow, you're right! Your mom's regurgitated worms are way better than my mom's!

"Can you believe it? Smiley kissed me! I was totally not expecting it. She's probably gonna blabber it to the whole school! If I'm lucky."

Rosewood Elementary E. Osgood Principal. I know you'll tell my parents about this, but I'd really appreciate it if you didn't tell Santa.

"What a day. I played tag, a yucky girl kissed me, and I got the school's computers back online."

"The custodian's job is 10 percent janitorial and 90 percent as my bodyguard."

'These are the happiest days of your life.'

Bully accepts Paypal, Venmo or Bitcoin

'I don't have a dog, so have to eat homework myself.'

"Before we begin, I just want to say how happy we are for this opportunity for an open-minded discussion about your complete failure to improve our son's academic performance."

'That Jimmy is sickening!'

'I just wish she wouldn't walk us to school.'