Schoolyard Warrior Gifts

"It wasn't a gift Mrs. Banks. I had to fight really hard to get it."

Computer Room.

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

Man with raked leaves on wall plaques.

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

"If something that doesn't kill me only makes me stronger, then I should be Atlas!"

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

'Daniel! How many times have I told you not to bury that in the back yard! I'm going to be late for work!'

'What I did on my summer vacation: I wrote about what I had done the rest of the year.'

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

'Since he bought the leaf blower I hardly ever see him.'

"Must get a longer cable."

Will eat your homework for $.

Child finding school too hard.

"The first week of school is just review. You know. Scenes from last year's episode."

I rule by fear.

Cocoa. Make it a double. Sure, Myles. Coming up. Here ya go. Double today; everything okay? Oh yeah, sure. What's not okay about realizing 3rd grade means a whole bunch of homework and Sally Anne Peters wanting to talk about feelings? Tell me all this weirdness ends soon. Triple on the house.

When Fred's super deluxe leaf blower blew up yet again, he wondered where global deforestation is when you want it,

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

"Can't wait to see the look on his face when we put these back on the tree."

'You got him here before the tardy bell, Mrs. Bates, but I'm not sure he's prepared to learn.'

'Stewart, why is the handwriting on your mom's last two attendance notes different?'

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

'Billy takes his jungle gym seriously!'

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

"Man! I haven't slept at all since school started!"

"What a magnificent display of fall foliage – a blessing to behold." "*!#@!%* leaves!..."

'If I keep bringing diseases home from school, maybe I shouldn't go to school.'

'I don't know what made Ms. Doan think I was running in the hall.'

"Mom, no more apples for teacher. It looks like bribery."

"Hi Ginny, that's a nice new haircut you've got there. Are you trying to be cuter than me?"