School Day Warrior Gifts

Computer Room.

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

"The day at school? Oh, you know, the usual psychological and educational stew."

'What I did on my summer vacation: I wrote about what I had done the rest of the year.'

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

"If something that doesn't kill me only makes me stronger, then I should be Atlas!"

"It's going to be one of those days."

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

Child finding school too hard.

'Sleep on your face again, Phil?'

'I'm playing 18 floors.'

"Damn! I keep waking up in the middle of the day."

'I won't bother to bath Mum, we're playing again tomorrow!'

Cocoa. Make it a double. Sure, Myles. Coming up. Here ya go. Double today; everything okay? Oh yeah, sure. What's not okay about realizing 3rd grade means a whole bunch of homework and Sally Anne Peters wanting to talk about feelings? Tell me all this weirdness ends soon. Triple on the house.

"I'd like to see him try that on the leg press."

'Misery is sleeping in late on Saturday morning then realizing it's only Wednesday...'

'Get out there, Holmes, and pile on!'

'You got him here before the tardy bell, Mrs. Bates, but I'm not sure he's prepared to learn.'

"Man! I haven't slept at all since school started!"

Do not feed the clerks.

"These days, I'm mostly just legislating from the couch."

'Oh come on, we all have our crosses to bear.'

"Lunchward ho!"

'If I keep bringing diseases home from school, maybe I shouldn't go to school.'

'Sleeping through Monday is the coward's way out!'

A spider meal prepping

'I'm not enjoying my childhood, I'm dealing with it.'

"The meeting's over but it's so close to the end of the day. Let's just use our collective inertia and run out the clock."

"I hope your day is going bad."

'Boy, am I hungry. Alll I've had to eat today is some homework!'

"My dad ate my homework."

Soccer Moms

Wonderland School. Principal. As usual, things are chaotic of the first day of school. Goldilocks has already switched desks twice. Some cafeteria equipment is missing. The dish ran away with the spoon. Cinderella was already looking at the lost and found looking for a shoe. And I just heard about a problem with Humpty Dumpty out on the playground. At least Peter Pan looks relaxed. Of course, he's been going to this school for decades.

"Watch him. His body says Monday but his face says Friday."

"Mrs. Martin is here. She's the new substitute teacher."