Schoolyard Survivor Gifts

"Talk about a bad day. It was take your child to work day and my Dad's the school principal."

'I'm afraid the school bully stole the veggie burger you made for my lunch, mom.'

"...If the other kids call you four eyes just ignore them"

The full moon frenzy strikes again."

"The day at school? Oh, you know, the usual psychological and educational stew."

'Yes, grammar rules do evolve over time, but making up your own to 'stay ahead of the curve' won't work in this English class!'

Examinations.

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

"There's an app that helped me finish grades 3 through 7. If you need me, I'll be in my room playing video games for the next few years."

'Will Mr. 'No Comment' please remain after class.'

Biology Revision - Arse / elbow.

"It's going to be one of those days."

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

"Get your lunchbox, you're going!"

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

“Hands, Rachel. Clap your hands. Why on earth would I say, ‘If you’re happy and you know it, slap Sam’?”

'Want to hear something scary? This is the third time this week I've gotten off the bus and still remember what I've learned.'

I miss recess!

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

"And what did my little darling do in school today?"

"And to finally break free from the crippling burden of my student loans."

"So this is it...the first day of the new school year. I guess studying, tests and report cards are still the hot things around here."

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

'The only thing I'm sure of is death and taxes and home work.'

'Hmmm, everyone seems to have prepared for the exam except for Thomas who's making a long face now.'

"Of course I love school...but I love no more cafeteria food more."

'Would you believe, I didn't get my homework done because of PMS?'

'Billy takes his jungle gym seriously!'

"I don't want to go back to school; other people are my kryptonite."

"Sure I know what it adds up to. It adds up to another 'C' for Eddie Goldbeck."

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

"It's been a stressful school year."

'My school has a very strict detention policy.'