Schoolyard Legend Gifts

"Congratulations! You've won a lifetime supply of school supplies."

"Recess does things to a man."

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

“Hands, Rachel. Clap your hands. Why on earth would I say, ‘If you’re happy and you know it, slap Sam’?”

"The first week of school is just review. You know. Scenes from last year's episode."

I miss recess!

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

"Okay, if it hits the wall it's a triple, and if it goes through Mr. Baker's window, that's a home run."

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

'Billy takes his jungle gym seriously!'

"Hi Ginny, that's a nice new haircut you've got there. Are you trying to be cuter than me?"

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'

'No, he's right. Cows have three udders. One for skim milk, one for two percent and the third one's for lactose free.'

'I would appreciate it if you don't call out in class.'

'These are the happiest days of your life.'

Teacher's Lounge

"What a day. I played tag, a yucky girl kissed me, and I got the school's computers back online."

"Can you believe it? Smiley kissed me! I was totally not expecting it. She's probably gonna blabber it to the whole school! If I'm lucky."

Upon returning to school, none of the boys could help but notice how much Allison had developed over summer vacation.

'I don't have a dog, so have to eat homework myself.'

'I'll take Tommy Peters to cry first, for a nickel.'

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'That Jimmy is sickening!'

"My day in school? Oh, it was special. I got a lot of attention and advice from the principal herself."

"I won't be donating my tech billions to this school."

A good school report at last...how much did it cost you?

"Who would've thought Ms. Eliot had so little sense of humor?"

"Yes, the underpants sighting is very interesting, but I'm really more intrigued by your observations of London and France."

Juvenile Court

"Talk about a bad day. It was take your child to work day and my Dad's the school principal."