Schoolyard Legend Gifts

"Congratulations! You've won a lifetime supply of school supplies."

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

"Recess does things to a man."

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

“Hands, Rachel. Clap your hands. Why on earth would I say, ‘If you’re happy and you know it, slap Sam’?”

"The first week of school is just review. You know. Scenes from last year's episode."

I miss recess!

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

"Okay, if it hits the wall it's a triple, and if it goes through Mr. Baker's window, that's a home run."

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

'Billy takes his jungle gym seriously!'

Littletown High School. And that's where Bubba Parker stomped me

"Hi Ginny, that's a nice new haircut you've got there. Are you trying to be cuter than me?"

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'

'No, he's right. Cows have three udders. One for skim milk, one for two percent and the third one's for lactose free.'

Wow, you're right! Your mom's regurgitated worms are way better than my mom's!

'I would appreciate it if you don't call out in class.'

Rosewood Elementary E. Osgood Principal. I know you'll tell my parents about this, but I'd really appreciate it if you didn't tell Santa.

Careful

Teacher's Lounge

"Can you believe it? Smiley kissed me! I was totally not expecting it. She's probably gonna blabber it to the whole school! If I'm lucky."

"What a day. I played tag, a yucky girl kissed me, and I got the school's computers back online."

'These are the happiest days of your life.'

Upon returning to school, none of the boys could help but notice how much Allison had developed over summer vacation.

Bully accepts Paypal, Venmo or Bitcoin

'I'll take Tommy Peters to cry first, for a nickel.'

I know you are, but what am I? Huh? Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you. I'm ready for the return of school. My mom says you're just jealous.

'I don't have a dog, so have to eat homework myself.'

"My day in school? Oh, it was special. I got a lot of attention and advice from the principal herself."

"Who would've thought Ms. Eliot had so little sense of humor?"

A good school report at last...how much did it cost you?

'That Jimmy is sickening!'

"I won't be donating my tech billions to this school."

"Yes, the underpants sighting is very interesting, but I'm really more intrigued by your observations of London and France."

Juvenile Court