Schoolhouse Survivor Gifts

'I would've been a more effective teacher today if I'd gotten here with my lesson plan instead of my grocery list.'

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

The full moon frenzy strikes again."

"The day at school? Oh, you know, the usual psychological and educational stew."

"We hardly ever intercept hard copy notes anymore, Stanley."

'Yes, grammar rules do evolve over time, but making up your own to 'stay ahead of the curve' won't work in this English class!'

Examinations.

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

"There's an app that helped me finish grades 3 through 7. If you need me, I'll be in my room playing video games for the next few years."

'Let's put it this way Tommy, if we could go below F minus you would be forging new territory!'

'Will Mr. 'No Comment' please remain after class.'

Biology Revision - Arse / elbow.

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

"It's going to be one of those days."

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

'I know Lazarus software retrieves lost data, but I don't think it helps when your dog eats your homework.'

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

"Get your lunchbox, you're going!"

"The school year is officially over, and the teachers won."

Curse or not, Dave had to pass this exam.

'I'm reporting you to the Department of Education!'

'Want to hear something scary? This is the third time this week I've gotten off the bus and still remember what I've learned.'

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

"So this is it...the first day of the new school year. I guess studying, tests and report cards are still the hot things around here."

"And to finally break free from the crippling burden of my student loans."

"And what did my little darling do in school today?"

'On the other hand, if I never finish anything I can't be a complete failure...'

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

'Straying from the subject, Danny, is not distance learning.'