School Life Survivor Gifts

"Have you heard? This year they want us to be tenaciously scholastic even in the bathroom."

'I never thought Ms. Wilson would use the letters of the alphabet against me.'

School: How stressed were you today.

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

The full moon frenzy strikes again."

"The day at school? Oh, you know, the usual psychological and educational stew."

"We hardly ever intercept hard copy notes anymore, Stanley."

'Yes, grammar rules do evolve over time, but making up your own to 'stay ahead of the curve' won't work in this English class!'

Examinations.

"There's an app that helped me finish grades 3 through 7. If you need me, I'll be in my room playing video games for the next few years."

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

'Let's put it this way Tommy, if we could go below F minus you would be forging new territory!'

Biology Revision - Arse / elbow.

'Will Mr. 'No Comment' please remain after class.'

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

"It's going to be one of those days."

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

'I'm reporting you to the Department of Education!'

"The school year is officially over, and the teachers won."

'Want to hear something scary? This is the third time this week I've gotten off the bus and still remember what I've learned.'

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

"And to finally break free from the crippling burden of my student loans."

"And what did my little darling do in school today?"

"So this is it...the first day of the new school year. I guess studying, tests and report cards are still the hot things around here."

'On the other hand, if I never finish anything I can't be a complete failure...'

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

'Straying from the subject, Danny, is not distance learning.'

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

'The good news is we were able to remove the homework from his stomach. The bad news is, your kid can't write worth a damn.'

"I'm in big trouble. The dog ate my homework, and Dad ate my science project."

'Hmmm, everyone seems to have prepared for the exam except for Thomas who's making a long face now.'