Schoolwork Survivor Gifts

"You'll be pleased to know you haven't got any homework this evening."

'The good news is we were able to remove the homework from his stomach. The bad news is, your kid can't write worth a damn.'

Playing the Blame Game

"I have to go to school, then get a job, and then pay for my own stuff. Life is so unfair!"

Back to School Jitters

Bio. Your paper on photosynthesis is due Wednesday. English. The quiz on Thoreau's nature writing is on Wednesday. History. Read the chapter on how frontier expansion affected the environment for Wednesday. Teachers have totally polluted Earth Day.

'When do you get to start leaving your work at the office?'

"Lucky for you, we were shipwrecked with your teacher. So, you won't have to miss any schoolwork."

"While I am concerned about your son, I'm more worried about your dog. He has eaten an awful lot of homework."

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

"The day at school? Oh, you know, the usual psychological and educational stew."

The full moon frenzy strikes again."

'Yes, grammar rules do evolve over time, but making up your own to 'stay ahead of the curve' won't work in this English class!'

Examinations.

"There's an app that helped me finish grades 3 through 7. If you need me, I'll be in my room playing video games for the next few years."

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

'What I did on my summer vacation: I wrote about what I had done the rest of the year.'

'Will Mr. 'No Comment' please remain after class.'

Biology Revision - Arse / elbow.

"It's going to be one of those days."

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

"The school year is officially over, and the teachers won."

Child finding school too hard.

'Want to hear something scary? This is the third time this week I've gotten off the bus and still remember what I've learned.'

"If nothing else, school has prepared me for a lifetime of backpacking."

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

"So this is it...the first day of the new school year. I guess studying, tests and report cards are still the hot things around here."

"And to finally break free from the crippling burden of my student loans."

"And what did my little darling do in school today?"

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

'Hmmm, everyone seems to have prepared for the exam except for Thomas who's making a long face now.'