School Survivors Gifts

"I must be out of memory"

'I don't mind school, except the part between welcome back and have a nice summer.'

'I'll never get out of the third grade -- They keep raising the retirement age.'

Teacher to student with spots: 'Tests make you nervous and break out in what?'

"O.K., Summer Breaks is over. Back to hell."

'It's a moat.'

"School is a lot like life. It's hours and hours of boredom...interrupted by the occasional moment of panic."

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

"We hardly ever intercept hard copy notes anymore, Stanley."

The full moon frenzy strikes again."

'Yes, grammar rules do evolve over time, but making up your own to 'stay ahead of the curve' won't work in this English class!'

Examinations.

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

"There's an app that helped me finish grades 3 through 7. If you need me, I'll be in my room playing video games for the next few years."

'Let's put it this way Tommy, if we could go below F minus you would be forging new territory!'

"Where are redactions when you need them?"

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

'Will Mr. 'No Comment' please remain after class.'

Biology Revision - Arse / elbow.

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

"The school year is officially over, and the teachers won."

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

'I'm reporting you to the Department of Education!'

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

'Want to hear something scary? This is the third time this week I've gotten off the bus and still remember what I've learned.'

"If nothing else, school has prepared me for a lifetime of backpacking."

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

"And what did my little darling do in school today?"

"And to finally break free from the crippling burden of my student loans."

"So this is it...the first day of the new school year. I guess studying, tests and report cards are still the hot things around here."

'On the other hand, if I never finish anything I can't be a complete failure...'

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

'Straying from the subject, Danny, is not distance learning.'

'The good news is we were able to remove the homework from his stomach. The bad news is, your kid can't write worth a damn.'