High School Survivor Gifts

Freshman Ronnie Klumpf wisely outfitted himself with a wedgie deterrent system.

"Cancel Culture."

'I set off the metal detector again? This is going to make me late for class the for the fifth time this week.'

'The lecture hall is very large and my seat is far back. I feel like I'm in a distance-learning program.'

"I was totally embarrassed at school today! Miss Lopez yelled at me in math class."

"Hold it! What am I doing? I've never been here. And I got class pictures tomorrow! Why didn't I leave when I had the chance?"

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

The full moon frenzy strikes again."

'Yes, grammar rules do evolve over time, but making up your own to 'stay ahead of the curve' won't work in this English class!'

Examinations.

"There's an app that helped me finish grades 3 through 7. If you need me, I'll be in my room playing video games for the next few years."

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

'Will Mr. 'No Comment' please remain after class.'

Biology Revision - Arse / elbow.

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

"The school year is officially over, and the teachers won."

'Want to hear something scary? This is the third time this week I've gotten off the bus and still remember what I've learned.'

"If nothing else, school has prepared me for a lifetime of backpacking."

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

"And to finally break free from the crippling burden of my student loans."

"And what did my little darling do in school today?"

"So this is it...the first day of the new school year. I guess studying, tests and report cards are still the hot things around here."

'The good news is we were able to remove the homework from his stomach. The bad news is, your kid can't write worth a damn.'

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

"I'm in big trouble. The dog ate my homework, and Dad ate my science project."

'The only thing I'm sure of is death and taxes and home work.'

'Hmmm, everyone seems to have prepared for the exam except for Thomas who's making a long face now.'

'Would you believe, I didn't get my homework done because of PMS?'

"I don't want to go back to school; other people are my kryptonite."

"Sure I know what it adds up to. It adds up to another 'C' for Eddie Goldbeck."

"Of course I love school...but I love no more cafeteria food more."

"You'll be pleased to know you haven't got any homework this evening."