High School Survivalists Gifts

"It looks as though our baby has found another spot on her chin."

"It's official"..."It's a drought!"

"We hardly ever intercept hard copy notes anymore, Stanley."

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

'Let's put it this way Tommy, if we could go below F minus you would be forging new territory!'

"Where are redactions when you need them?"

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

"The school year is officially over, and the teachers won."

"Yes, I'm sure of my 3 wishes - I wish I had a pen, I wish I had paper to write a 'rescue me' note, and I wish I had a bottle to send it in"

'I'm reporting you to the Department of Education!'

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

'I know Lazarus software retrieves lost data, but I don't think it helps when your dog eats your homework.'

Working Environment

'On the other hand, if I never finish anything I can't be a complete failure...'

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

'Straying from the subject, Danny, is not distance learning.'

A castaway on an island with an old TV that's washed ashore, sees two men in an approaching boat marked, 'TV Licensing'.

Man gets round hosepipe ban by showering in the garden

In and Out tray filled with messages in bottles on a manned desk on a desert Island

'I think your son is being bullied. He's suffering 80% Chinese wrist burns.'

"Back to school can bring on the summertime blues."

'I give the same advice to all new teachers. Pretend you know what you are doing.'

Milestone in a college student's life: 'Hey! I just got my first collection agency letter, dunning me for my credit card debt!'

"I was totally embarrassed at school today! Miss Lopez yelled at me in math class."

"Now do you believe me?"

"Our computers will be down for an hour, so I advise everyone to hide under their desks. The last time it was total anarchy until we were back online."

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

The Hard Drive Ate My Homework.

"I wish school was more like TV."

"There seems to be a difference of opinion as to how to implement the co-operative learning program!"

'Stop! Wait 'til he finishes cleaning my teeth!'

'It's called sustainable living. He can survive for days out here.'

'Are you sure this is just a mirage we're crawling through?'