High School Survivalists Gifts

"It looks as though our baby has found another spot on her chin."

"It's official"..."It's a drought!"

"We hardly ever intercept hard copy notes anymore, Stanley."

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

'Let's put it this way Tommy, if we could go below F minus you would be forging new territory!'

"Where are redactions when you need them?"

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

'I'm reporting you to the Department of Education!'

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

"Yes, I'm sure of my 3 wishes - I wish I had a pen, I wish I had paper to write a 'rescue me' note, and I wish I had a bottle to send it in"

"The school year is officially over, and the teachers won."

Working Environment

'On the other hand, if I never finish anything I can't be a complete failure...'

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

'Straying from the subject, Danny, is not distance learning.'

In and Out tray filled with messages in bottles on a manned desk on a desert Island

"Back to school can bring on the summertime blues."

'I think your son is being bullied. He's suffering 80% Chinese wrist burns.'

A castaway on an island with an old TV that's washed ashore, sees two men in an approaching boat marked, 'TV Licensing'.

Man gets round hosepipe ban by showering in the garden

'I give the same advice to all new teachers. Pretend you know what you are doing.'

Milestone in a college student's life: 'Hey! I just got my first collection agency letter, dunning me for my credit card debt!'

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

"Our computers will be down for an hour, so I advise everyone to hide under their desks. The last time it was total anarchy until we were back online."

"I was totally embarrassed at school today! Miss Lopez yelled at me in math class."

The Hard Drive Ate My Homework.

"There seems to be a difference of opinion as to how to implement the co-operative learning program!"

"I wish school was more like TV."

"Now do you believe me?"

'Stop! Wait 'til he finishes cleaning my teeth!'

'It's called sustainable living. He can survive for days out here.'

"Summer is going by too fast. I'm Googling how to slow down time now, and speed up time during the school year."

'Are you sure this is just a mirage we're crawling through?'