School Year Survivor Gifts

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

"The school year is officially over, and the teachers won."

"Time to clean out my locker!"

"For my money, Back To School Day is the scariest day of the year."

"Summer seems so long ago."

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

"We hardly ever intercept hard copy notes anymore, Stanley."

The full moon frenzy strikes again."

"The day at school? Oh, you know, the usual psychological and educational stew."

'Yes, grammar rules do evolve over time, but making up your own to 'stay ahead of the curve' won't work in this English class!'

Examinations.

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

'Let's put it this way Tommy, if we could go below F minus you would be forging new territory!'

"Where are redactions when you need them?"

"There's an app that helped me finish grades 3 through 7. If you need me, I'll be in my room playing video games for the next few years."

'Will Mr. 'No Comment' please remain after class.'

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

Biology Revision - Arse / elbow.

"It's going to be one of those days."

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

'I know Lazarus software retrieves lost data, but I don't think it helps when your dog eats your homework.'

"Get your lunchbox, you're going!"

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

'I'm reporting you to the Department of Education!'

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

'Want to hear something scary? This is the third time this week I've gotten off the bus and still remember what I've learned.'

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

'Any child left longer than ten minutes past last bell will be given a free kitten.'

'First semester, you learn the numbers. Second semester, you use them to count the days 'til school is out.'

"So this is it...the first day of the new school year. I guess studying, tests and report cards are still the hot things around here."

"And to finally break free from the crippling burden of my student loans."

"And what did my little darling do in school today?"

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

'On the other hand, if I never finish anything I can't be a complete failure...'

'Straying from the subject, Danny, is not distance learning.'