Schoolyard Drama Lover Pillows

"Are you the young man that bit my daughter?"

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

"Recess does things to a man."

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

'Second grade. When did you discover 'LMNOP' wasn't one letter?'

“Hands, Rachel. Clap your hands. Why on earth would I say, ‘If you’re happy and you know it, slap Sam’?”

I miss recess!

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

'Billy takes his jungle gym seriously!'

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

"Tia Carmen, can you make Sylvia Sanchez, the prettiest girl in school, look me in the eye and ask about my feelings."

"Hi Ginny, that's a nice new haircut you've got there. Are you trying to be cuter than me?"

Littletown High School. And that's where Bubba Parker stomped me

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'

Wow, you're right! Your mom's regurgitated worms are way better than my mom's!

'I would appreciate it if you don't call out in class.'

'These are the happiest days of your life.'

"They can't eliminate gymnastics! With our school's overcrowding, we need it!"

My mom won't let me walk to school. I might get mugged. She won't let me play sports. I might get injured. West Fester High School. And she won't let me get onto the scales. Why not? It might hurt my self-esteem.

Teacher to parents: 'Ah - you're right. What do I know about kids? My biological clock went coo-coo years ago.'

"Can you believe it? Smiley kissed me! I was totally not expecting it. She's probably gonna blabber it to the whole school! If I'm lucky."

'Billy, I'm not going to argue the semantics of biting. Whether or not you penetrated skin, I'm calling your mother.'

"Oi you two! What going on in here?"

'I don't have a dog, so have to eat homework myself.'

"I think Wendy likes me... she chose me first for her cooperative learning group!"

I know you are, but what am I? Huh? Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you. I'm ready for the return of school. My mom says you're just jealous.

"If Wikileaks released my email about Kevin, I'll just die!"

"So what's the deal? Why did Cruz call me your girlfriend?"

'Not everyone has a grandmother who'd help them throw a party, Andy!'

'Tonight there's a small, select meeting of the P.T.A - just you, me and the Head!'

'I'd like to run for class president but I'm afraid of the background check. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre school.'

'I didn't want to peak too soon.'

'Pillow fight!'