Family Sitcom Lover Gifts

"Is it wrong to be evasive and not answer questions?"

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

"Ignore her, it's just another attention-getting trick."

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

"I don't know if I can do 'Gilmore Girls' today. I'm not sure I'm feeling up for anything involving witty yet poignant repartee."

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

Yes, they are all dependants."

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

"Remember this about new babysitters - making rules and enforcing them are two different things.".

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

'We can't move in with my parents - they've moved in with grandma!'

"Okay, just one story. Once upon a time, there was a naughty little boy who wouldn't go to sleep."

"Take it easy, honey. Beneath that terrifying rage is our twelve-year-old daughter. My GOD, when will the wi-fi go back on?!!"

Spider boy

"The legal people are terrified of litigation but I insisted that we write an apology to the client of the lack of service. . . as long as we don't sent it!"

"Grandma, I have to bring an antique to school. Can I borrow your flip phone?"

"Sure they love us, but once we turn 18 and are no longer a tax deduction, they'll tell us to move out!"

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

Is your homework finished? It's almost a snow day. No way

'How long did you try before calling?'

'Yes, I'm proud to say all my kids went into boot camp as soon as they left home.'

'You kids stop fighting or I swear, I will turn this banana around!'

"I've decided to accept my legal counsel's advice and take the fifth."

"Last night we watched three movies back to back. I was the one facing the telly."

Bunny TV.

'Could you direct me to the balloon animal enclosure?'

'It's so embarrassing. My mother had my tadpole tail bronzed!'

'My dad cut it. My mother repaired it. Now, I'm looking for some professional maintainance.'

"C-Span is our reality television."