Fan Of Family Sitcoms Gifts

'We can't move in with my parents - they've moved in with grandma!'

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

"I don't know if I can do 'Gilmore Girls' today. I'm not sure I'm feeling up for anything involving witty yet poignant repartee."

Suffering from Cooties?

"My wife thought the phrase 'stick it to the man' meant everyone, hence we're divorced. My new girlfriend and I met at a party. She's krazy, man. We bonded right away and now she's pregnant. It's a squeeze top. My brother's in rehab for sniffing. He never could get his nose out of my business."

Dad Trophies

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

"But Mom, you said it was a pup tent!"

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

'I want you to bring me one.'

"I'm afraid Dad did not leave us anything of value in his will, but his last wish is for us to continue the feud with the neighbour's cat...

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

"Remember this about new babysitters - making rules and enforcing them are two different things.".

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

"Young man, you go march your butt right back up those stairs and don't come down until you've made yourself look presentable!"

'Here's what she was reading - an articl called 'Parents can be fun'.'

'I take a cold shower every morning... right after my daughters have taken hot ones.'

'When are you going to give up this 9 to 5 nonsense and become a rock star like your brother?'

"Take it easy, honey. Beneath that terrifying rage is our twelve-year-old daughter. My GOD, when will the wi-fi go back on?!!"

Spider boy

'Our computer responds to voice commands, but our kids don't.'

'Mom, was Dad your number one draft choice?'

"I see you attending a family reunion, where things get quite heated."

"My homework? It was super easy today. I drew a dragon and daddy did Math."

"Friend or foe?"

"Grandma, I have to bring an antique to school. Can I borrow your flip phone?"

"...And to my favorite 'Mr. Down On His Luck' relative, I leave all my spare change."