Family Sitcom Fan Gifts

'Quick! Kids! There's a positive male role model on the television...'

The following program contains adult material treated in a childish way, so call in the whole family.

'Of course I threw it - It's a throw pillow.'

'Ralph finally got the remote control to work - his way.'

'Your mother can visit, but keep her away from our nuclear technology.'

'Mom! Betty lou called me a 'TWIRP' 'You are a twirp!'

"This TV show is soooo bad!"

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

Suffering from Cooties?

"I don't know if I can do 'Gilmore Girls' today. I'm not sure I'm feeling up for anything involving witty yet poignant repartee."

Dad Trophies

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

"Remember this about new babysitters - making rules and enforcing them are two different things.".

'I want you to bring me one.'

"But Mom, you said it was a pup tent!"

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

"Young man, you go march your butt right back up those stairs and don't come down until you've made yourself look presentable!"

"I'm afraid Dad did not leave us anything of value in his will, but his last wish is for us to continue the feud with the neighbour's cat...

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

'We can't move in with my parents - they've moved in with grandma!'

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

'Here's what she was reading - an articl called 'Parents can be fun'.'

'I take a cold shower every morning... right after my daughters have taken hot ones.'

Spider boy

'Our computer responds to voice commands, but our kids don't.'

"Take it easy, honey. Beneath that terrifying rage is our twelve-year-old daughter. My GOD, when will the wi-fi go back on?!!"