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"Is it wrong to be evasive and not answer questions?"

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

"Ignore her, it's just another attention-getting trick."

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"I don't know if I can do 'Gilmore Girls' today. I'm not sure I'm feeling up for anything involving witty yet poignant repartee."

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

Yes, they are all dependants."

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

"Okay, just one story. Once upon a time, there was a naughty little boy who wouldn't go to sleep."

"Remember this about new babysitters - making rules and enforcing them are two different things.".

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

'We can't move in with my parents - they've moved in with grandma!'

Spider boy

"Take it easy, honey. Beneath that terrifying rage is our twelve-year-old daughter. My GOD, when will the wi-fi go back on?!!"

"Grandma, I have to bring an antique to school. Can I borrow your flip phone?"

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

"Sure they love us, but once we turn 18 and are no longer a tax deduction, they'll tell us to move out!"

'How long did you try before calling?'

"The legal people are terrified of litigation but I insisted that we write an apology to the client of the lack of service. . . as long as we don't sent it!"

'You kids stop fighting or I swear, I will turn this banana around!'

"I've decided to accept my legal counsel's advice and take the fifth."

'Could you direct me to the balloon animal enclosure?'

"Sure you take off with the flock and leave me here stuck with the kids!"

"Last night we watched three movies back to back. I was the one facing the telly."

"Amanda, did you throw you shoes away again?"

'It's so embarrassing. My mother had my tadpole tail bronzed!'

"Thank you, honey, for your vote of confidence in our parenting decisions."

Bunny TV.

"C-Span is our reality television."