Classroom Humor Enthusiast Gifts

'...And that should cover all my rules for the class.'

"People...do you FINALLY understand the concept of 'Visual Narrative?'"

"I only talk down to your child because he's shorter than me."

"I didn't bring an apple, so how about a fruit roll up?"

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

"Psst. . . what's the definition for plagiarism?"

'You want us to line up a single line? Well none of us would be married at this age would we?'

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

A Puppet Named Juan

Ethics exam cheater.

I should be a writer when I grow up...

'But I digress...'

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

"Baldo, you're a very good artist! You should put your talent to use."

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

'So what are you studying, young man?'

'My science project is an experiment in static electricity.'

'What begins with 'E'? Well, 'Everything'!'

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

'This test doesn't understand me.'

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

Aerodynamics Lecture room.

"Your rule about no yelling out in class...that's a violation of my 1st Amendment rights!"

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

" 'How I Spent My Summer Vacation,' a treatment by Todd Mozelle, Grade Three."

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'