Educational Jester Gifts

'I always thought that meant the time after students returned from Spring Break.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

"Phyllis, this isn�t my laptop..."

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

Books / Coffee table books

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

"I think someone put Bob on vibrate."

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

"But seriously do you think my eclectic knowledge of the history of the development of the claw hammer makes me more of a sex magnet?"

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

"Gracie, don't worry so much about your big test... You know, when I was your age, I didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'. Until I looked it up."

'Dr. Young is a professor at one of the nation's leading party schools.'

"When I want your advice, I'll ask for it... but in an oblique, face-saving way."

"First period music always leaves me with a tune stuck in my head for the rest of the day."

Man Tries Use Telescope In Observatory As Cannon.

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

Thomas Carlyle

'I wish you had chosen a more pertinent educational issue than 'Do Dogs Actually Eat Homework?''

'Ambitious? You sit there admitting you're a troublemaker!'

'I said that I didn't want to be interrupted...'