Jester Of The Classroom Gifts

"There are no stupid questions, Billy. Just stupid questioners."

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

'He was only reaching for his powerpoint presentation pointer.'

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

it's back to school time, Frank. I think I have everything I need. I have a new backpack, pens, pencils, erasers, notebooks and, of course, a mask. We don't need those anymore. Speak for yourself. Zzzzzzz.

"It says here on your resume that one of your qualities is a sense of humor. Care to elaborate?"

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

Books / Coffee table books

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

"Gracie, don't worry so much about your big test... You know, when I was your age, I didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'. Until I looked it up."

"First period music always leaves me with a tune stuck in my head for the rest of the day."

'Here Coco. It's another prescription for laughter to be filled.'

'It's a guess. I never said it was an educated guess.'

"No, I don't believe Michaelangelo ever did any bobbleheads."

"This year, I'm starting school with a positive attitude! You have my word...I'm waiting till the second week of school to call it the worst year of my life."

"Sorry, class, but because of new deregulations, I don't have to teach you anything this year."

'You got everyfink Bruv? Stink bombs, pea shooter, dead frogs . . .'

'I'm sorry, Sally, you can't buy a vowel.'

"Aw, Miss! Why do you always pick on me to answer the questions?"

"Yuck! Som'one left their nose in this book!"

'No, fear isn't one of the basic taste sensations.'

To sleep, perchance to wake up as a different person.

Poet's Corner

"Will this global warming mean we'll have longer summer vacations?"

"I give all new teachers the same advice. First you have to get the attention of the class. Can you quack like a duck or juggle two books in the air?"

Do I get extra credit for neatness?

I wasn't cheating...I was getting a second opinion.

"Would you be upset if we marked it as humor?"

"Since I'm your favorite student, do I even have to take this test?"