Classroom Jester Gifts

"How do you feel about plea bargaining?"

"Maybe using the term 'start spitballing' wasn't a great way to get them to start on this project."

'Stevie, please put down the glue gun and do your math.'

'A not from my parents?... Which set?'

"When did we learn how to do that?"

"Our insurance provider has requested that we use this green screen for our field trip."

"First period music always leaves me with a tune stuck in my head for the rest of the day."

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

it's back to school time, Frank. I think I have everything I need. I have a new backpack, pens, pencils, erasers, notebooks and, of course, a mask. We don't need those anymore. Speak for yourself. Zzzzzzz.

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

Books / Coffee table books

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

'They named special prosecutors to investigate each other.'

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

Justice 4 Ron

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'