Classroom Prankster Gifts

More velocity, less wing area Jeffery.

By simultaneously setting off the vibrate mode on their cell phones, Mrs. Zelnak's students had her convinced that an earthquake had struck.

'What is it with you, Caldecott?'

'Just checking to see if you're still alive.'

I will not waste chalk kid...

"Darell is sharing his pet with us today. I'm sure the whole class will find this very entertaining."

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

'He's not as studious as he looks - his backpack is full of comic books.'

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

'Court's in recess!'

Aerodynamics Lecture room.

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

it's back to school time, Frank. I think I have everything I need. I have a new backpack, pens, pencils, erasers, notebooks and, of course, a mask. We don't need those anymore. Speak for yourself. Zzzzzzz.

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

"I'm hoping for a pardon from the Governor."

"The favourite practical joke amongst Big Bang theorists"

Some recently de-classified nuclear secrets.

"Well, Billy; according to your dog's x-ray, he didn't eat your homework!"

"First period music always leaves me with a tune stuck in my head for the rest of the day."

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

'It's a guess. I never said it was an educated guess.'

'For show and tell today I've brought in the report cards of our teacher, which I downloaded!'

"No, I don't believe Michaelangelo ever did any bobbleheads."

"About these experiements of yours into genetic cloning, Bond" boomed the Headmaster, "They must cease immediately"

"Sorry, class, but because of new deregulations, I don't have to teach you anything this year."

I will not chew gum in class, even sugarless....

"Who would've thought Ms. Marcus had so little sense of humor?"

"This year, I'm starting school with a positive attitude! You have my word...I'm waiting till the second week of school to call it the worst year of my life."

'You got everyfink Bruv? Stink bombs, pea shooter, dead frogs . . .'

"Aw, Miss! Why do you always pick on me to answer the questions?"

'I'm sorry, Sally, you can't buy a vowel.'

'No, fear isn't one of the basic taste sensations.'