Schoolyard Prankster Gifts

'For show and tell today I've brought in the report cards of our teacher, which I downloaded!'

"Boeing! - in my office, now!"

Schoolboy.

"They're fake, when I get to school I'm telling everyone that I have evolved."

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

'Court's in recess!'

'Red Rover, Red Rover...'

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

'My imaginary playmate squealed on me!'

'Where are you going?'

The Amazing Mr Sausage

'The man was real nice about it. He gave me my ball back and even said you can expect a nice call from his lawyer.'

"I'm hoping for a pardon from the Governor."

Some recently de-classified nuclear secrets.

I will not waste chalk kid...

'There is a kid at school who can play 'Jingle Bells' with his farts. That is impressive because flatulence is a difficult medium.'

"Well, Billy; according to your dog's x-ray, he didn't eat your homework!"

'It was self-defense - the clock struck first.'

"Who would've thought Ms. Marcus had so little sense of humor?"

"This is the only time of the year when we get to hit the children."

"Whoa! Are they doing what I think they're doing?"

On a school trip to a museum, a child takes the head of a horse statue and runs through the museum with it.

I will not chew gum in class, even sugarless....

'Try doing something constructive this summer, like going out and capturing some of your school clothes.'

'Quick! Get me the dispute resolution mediator!'

'No, he's right. Cows have three udders. One for skim milk, one for two percent and the third one's for lactose free.'

'I have to hang up now. I'm getting some static on another line.'

'My Dad gave him a parking ticket for standing on his vegetable patch!'

"Don't worry, I'll make sure she sees it"

"It was a professional hit..."

Sent to the corner on school sports day.