Schoolyard Trickster Gifts

And there goes the school window...

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"Recess does things to a man."

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

"Better luck next time, kid."

'Sorry mum, I had a brain freeze during the test...'

'A boy at school was named after his father. They've called him Dad.'

I rule by fear.

'Not bad, for naughty.'

"I'm hoping for a pardon from the Governor."

"Well, Billy; according to your dog's x-ray, he didn't eat your homework!"

Some recently de-classified nuclear secrets.

'There is a kid at school who can play 'Jingle Bells' with his farts. That is impressive because flatulence is a difficult medium.'

'For show and tell today I've brought in the report cards of our teacher, which I downloaded!'

Student writing on blackboard - I will not egg the principal's car.

'What's our exit strategy?'

"Who would've thought Ms. Marcus had so little sense of humor?"

I will not chew gum in class, even sugarless....

'Try doing something constructive this summer, like going out and capturing some of your school clothes.'

'Quick! Get me the dispute resolution mediator!'

'No, he's right. Cows have three udders. One for skim milk, one for two percent and the third one's for lactose free.'

"It was a professional hit..."

"Psst...The grass is a plant!"

"I'll admit, Billy Jenkins' note does look forged...but then again, he did have it notarized!"

'What about you, Billy? Did some deranged animal burst in during recess and devour your homework too?'

"It's my French homework. Enjoy."

"What a day. I played tag, a yucky girl kissed me, and I got the school's computers back online."

It Was Inevitable: Computerized Spit-Ball.

"You said you wanted me to show you a better school report..."

"Since I'm here so often, and you're redecorating, my favorite color is blue."