Class Jester Gifts

"Apparently, they're 'old money'. He's one of the very first National lottery winners."

"We're following Carrot Top."

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

Bad Interview Technique

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

'Make sport of the Queen.'

'I'm looking for someone who can make me laugh.'

'Dr. Young is a professor at one of the nation's leading party schools.'

Travelling jesters. No fools left aboard overnight.

"First period music always leaves me with a tune stuck in my head for the rest of the day."

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

'Ringing in your ears, you say?'

Show Jumping Tantrums

Thomas Carlyle

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

Never poke fun.

That's Roderick Sloan, the Alvin Meriwether professor of business administration, and with him is Alvin Meriwether, the Roderick Sloan professor of economics.

Dept. de Philosophie

'From left to right: witchfinder general, jester jocular and spouse peculiar.'

'This decaf's lousy.'