Exam Jester Gifts

'Don't worry Son, a C-minus is a great mark for bird-brains like us...'

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

"We're following Carrot Top."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"It says here that in your last job you did a lot of traveling."

Books / Coffee table books

A baby in court

Bad Interview Technique

The Scones-Monkey Trial. I, Judge Sadie, am prepared to rule. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Intelligent design versus evolution. Borrrinnng. That is my legal finding. Appeal. Will all bipeds please rise.

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

'No, no. I told you to look for a precedent.'

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."