Education Jester Gifts

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

Cross dressing to improve exam results. [Girls doing better at school.]

"This looks cool, Mum, a university offering a degree course in Greed."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"We're following Carrot Top."

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

"Phyllis, this isn�t my laptop..."

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

'Kimble, I'm going to give you a chance at purchasing - nip over to the cafe and get me a cheese and pickle sandwich.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

"Just how long has there been a maraschino cherry at the top of the organizational chart?"

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

'I want a win-win situation where both wins are ours.'

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

"I think someone put Bob on vibrate."

"But seriously do you think my eclectic knowledge of the history of the development of the claw hammer makes me more of a sex magnet?"

"Jane is sales, Fred is accounting, and Johnny's song and dance."

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

When Managers have a Four Seasons pizza.

'When you are done balancing in your chair we will continue the meeting.'

'Any questions?'