Education Jester Gifts

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

Cross dressing to improve exam results. [Girls doing better at school.]

"This looks cool, Mum, a university offering a degree course in Greed."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"We're following Carrot Top."

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"Phyllis, this isn�t my laptop..."

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

'Kimble, I'm going to give you a chance at purchasing - nip over to the cafe and get me a cheese and pickle sandwich.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

"Just how long has there been a maraschino cherry at the top of the organizational chart?"

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

'I want a win-win situation where both wins are ours.'

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

"I think someone put Bob on vibrate."

'When you are done balancing in your chair we will continue the meeting.'

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

"When you hear me begin talking about our lousy sales figures, you guys create a distraction."

"But seriously do you think my eclectic knowledge of the history of the development of the claw hammer makes me more of a sex magnet?"

When Managers have a Four Seasons pizza.

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

"Jane is sales, Fred is accounting, and Johnny's song and dance."

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'Any questions?'