Competition Jester Gifts

'I call that check my 'Pancake Special'.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'How about a game of cards?'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

Neighbor Leaf Wars

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"#notguilty."

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Yawning barristers in court

A baby in court

"I say we move on to dessert."

'Court is in recess for one hour. Everyone convene on the playground and we will choose sides for dodgeball!'

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

The Scones-Monkey Trial. I, Judge Sadie, am prepared to rule. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Intelligent design versus evolution. Borrrinnng. That is my legal finding. Appeal. Will all bipeds please rise.

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

Basketball.

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

'He started it!'